Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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