I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
