YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
