I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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