Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I looked at my own cervix.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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