You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
