That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
