My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
