scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My ass is underappreciated
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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