do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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