dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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