Soap is not a condiment
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
