we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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