she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
