just tell him i said nine months
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
