can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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