whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
