Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
