Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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