Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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