well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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