Buhtt sex?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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