pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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