I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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