but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize