Have you finally orgasmed yet?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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