In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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