I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize