i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
