Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
