His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
