I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize