you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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