There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
