yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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