Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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