does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
