Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
