You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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