How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Randomize
