I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
