i permit you to call me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize