What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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