Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
