lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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