I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize