2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
