I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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