The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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