Only a mothe r could love this liver
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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