Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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