I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
