that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
