he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
