If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
