Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
