from now on my penis is your penis
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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