so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
