i think my mom watched the whole time
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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