I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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