We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So much Jack, so little girl.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
