on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
