I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize