So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
