I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
