Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize