i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
