My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
