your thong is hanging out like whoa
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize