I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
