I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
