I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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