i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
