why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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